Do you ever feel overwhelmed by life sometimes? Not really in a bad way, but just I dunno, kind of our of control. I know full well I'm only feeling this way because this year has been such a whirlwind and has involved a lot of new and pretty stressful situations that I'm not used to, but other things that seem to have magically happened over the last few weeks has really hit home the fact that you can't control everything in your life. This got me thinking about my life as a whole and how much happier I am now than I have been before and why that is, and the main reason is that several years ago I decided I needed to re-design my life for the better.
I freely admit that I live in a 'Nancy bubble', but I don't think that's a bad thing. I know what makes me happy and helps me feel contented, and I know the situations and circumstances (and kinds of people) that make me unhappy. I truly believe that in order to lead a mentally and physically fulfilling existence you have to put in lots of hard work and be brave enough to make changes to your surroundings and the people you invite and remain a big part of your life. I also know that this can be a very very difficult thing to do.
I have two very important relationships that form a strong foundation of support beneath me, which means that I am in the lucky position that I don't need anyone else and so I can choose who is and isn't a part of my life without the fear of being alone and unhappy. I'm lucky enough to be married to an amazing man who supports me in everything that I do. He's honest and kind and holds the same morals as me. He looks out for what's best for me and I for him. I know that if I have a decision to make or need help with something I can always discuss it with him if I need to and he will always help me without being belittling or being annoyed that I have asked for his help.
But you don't have to be married or in a relationship to have that bedrock of support.
I'm also lucky because I have a great relationship with myself. I trust myself to make decisions that will be beneficial to my existence. I may not be a genius, I may not have the best job in the world, I may not be rich and famous, in fact there are a lot of things I wish I was and am not, but I know that I think things through, I'm moralistic and loyal, I have a good work ethic and I know what's best for me and my loved ones. I trust my brain and my heart and my instinct. Yes of course I make mistakes, I'm only human, but I won't let my past hold me back from my future, and I won't let a person do that either.
It's hard to hear and often even harder to see through, but sometimes removing negative people from your life can be the best thing you could ever do to support yourself, remove negativity and set you on your way to a more contented being. It sounds obvious but just think about your own friends. Are there any that after you see them all you think is of negative things that happened when you are with them or things that they said that made you uncomfortable or angry? If so, then those people don't need to be in your life. If all someone brings to you is strife, if they don't contribute anything positive to your existence, if they make any part of your life more difficult then find a way out of that relationship. People that live for gossip and seem to be unhappy if they aren't being mean about someone else - these people are toxic and you do not need them in your life. Even just people who constantly post things on social media that annoy the pants off you (much easier to deal with as you can just hide their feed).
I can't tell you how to do this, you must figure it our for yourselves, but I found that people like this were actually very easy to just lose contact with by not arranging to socialise with them or engaging them in long conversations. I know some of you will be thinking this is terrible of me (hence the shirt above) but I've never looked back and can honestly say that my life is so much more serene without them.
Another thing that I did that has benefited me immensely is that I have taken control of my online life, by which I mean that I try to only read things that will benefit me positively. Of course you can't do this 100% of the time and sometimes reading something negative can help you form your opinions properly, but as a rule I try to only read things that will be educational, inspiring or will just make me smile or laugh. I also have a good talk with myself every now and again when the dreaded social media envy strikes. We all know that most of us only share online the best bits of our lives, especially on Instagram. We share a curated version of our day to day life, often adding a little more grandeur or glamour and so it's easy to get carried off on a green sea of jealousy every now and again.
I think this is even more so if you're a blogger like me, when you see your other blogging pals off on an adventure with a brand and you weren't asked along too you can't help but wonder why and if there's something you're doing wrong when really it's most likely that there were only a certain number of people that could go along and countless other things the brand had to take into consideration like location, whether you've worked with them a lot already, if you're a good fit for the campaign, if you have the following they need to try to reach - so many things. A brand is a business after all and they are there to make money, so it has to be mutually beneficial. At first I let this get me down, but now I just try to use it to spur me on and turn that negativity into a positive, working harder to make my blog better.
I could go on for hours about the changes I have made that I feel make me contented and joyful and I may well do so in the future, but this is a long post already and I think these are the real keys to my happiness. I truly hope that some of you will take this on board and try to do this yourself. After all, life is tough enough as it is so if you can do anything to make it happier you should darn well do it.
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